


Reluctance

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:57:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Both for different reasons.





	Reluctance

Hux had spent the best part of his life sneering at the concept of mushy, stupid, sentimental nonsense. It was a lie. People had biological urges, and some of those urges involved seeding the wombs of others, and then fucking off. Sometimes the two involved might feel the urge to rear the child, but often they wouldn’t, and any pretence at anything _deeper_ or _meaningful_ was stupid and ridiculous and pointless and self-deluding and… all that.

And it wasn’t, at all, that he’d decided he would never fall in love. And it wasn’t, at all, that he’d decided he never _could_ or **would** fall in love.

He’d told himself that over and over, for years on end.

And then: Kylo.

***

Hux had never planned on _falling_ for him. No. He’d been driven mad by his weird mixture of overly-emotional and professionally-distant behaviour. He had such talents, such passions, and he didn’t _apply_ them. A waste, a… squandering, and… an insult, in a way, to all that Hux held dear.

But then they’d become closer. Non-professionally. Privately. Personally. 

Emotionally.

And Hux had felt the first stirrings of longing, both biological and psychological, and he’d buried them so deep down inside himself that every word came out bitter; every time his lips moved, it was twisted down around the concepts. He pushed, and he shoved, and eventually he’d realised he was fighting _himself_ , not Kylo, and - yes.

Yes.

He’d heard of the term ‘epiphany’ before, but he hadn’t considered it possible. Not until he’d suddenly realised he was really rather… attracted to Kylo Ren.

The physical made sense, yes, but it was more than that. Hux had admired people for their bodies before, and it had been a case of aesthetic enjoyment and that was the end of it. But with Kylo… with Kylo, he’d… it was… tangled up with emotion, too.

So it was with very confused and inexperienced aggression that he suggested they take their relationship (hah!) further. And grabbed him by the front of his robes, pulling him in and demanding a kiss.

Which. Once he got Kylo close enough to do it, he realised he _had no idea of the protocol_ for it, and mostly their noses banged, but then their lips did, and it was weird and soft and kind of unsettling because Kylo’s tongue was wet and Hux didn’t know what to do.

It was not the height of romance, or of… well… anything. And Hux had nearly died of shame, thinking that was the end of his potential for a sex-life, until Kylo grabbed his face. Two big, warm hands that seemed to cover from under his jaw up to his temples, and held him still.

The second kiss was better, because Kylo went about it more forcefully. Hux couldn’t pull back, could only let Kylo’s mouth pluck at his, and slip his tongue more surely past his teeth. It had sent every nerve-end jangling, and Hux had almost sucked Kylo’s tongue out of his head in his excitement. 

The kisses progressed to grinding, and Hux had fumbled his hand into Kylo’s pants, jerking him a little harder than the man liked, because he hissed and grabbed his wrist, showing him the pace he wanted. His own hand had crossed wrists with Hux’s, and his strokes were infinitely better than when Hux did it to himself. 

They’d come pretty quickly, and Hux had felt accomplished. So what if it was fast, that meant he was good at it, right? And so what if he hadn’t asked first, he’d had all the yes he’d wanted when Kylo hadn’t shoved him off.

And they still hadn’t gone on a date, but who cared?

***

Kylo, apparently, cared. He insisted on ‘doing things right’ (his words), and took Hux out on _dates_. Like. Actual dates. Not many, but more than Hux had ever expected to happen. 

Dates.

Food. Drink. Holos. Trips to places. They were few and far between, but every single one felt like it was the most precious thing ever, and Hux wanted both to continue, and to throw himself into a _sun_. 

Because it made him feel grossly inadequate, utterly maladapted, and gloriously out-classed.

But Kylo didn’t mind.

Dates, and kisses, and sex that Hux _loved_ , but he wanted _more_. He’d - okay - he’d… sometimes watched holos when he needed to blow off steam. Not often, and always with a sense of his depravity at needing it, but he _knew_ they could do more. Things involving mouths, throats, holes… things with whips, chains, binders…

And Kylo was always more interested in his hands, his lips, his thighs. Pushing them together, sliding his cock between his cheeks, bumping into his balls. Stroked in a fist, or licked and lapped. 

But Hux wanted _more_ , and when he pushed a finger behind Kylo’s balls, he got a wince. And when he tried to finger his own hole, he got dark eyes, but no taker. And when he–

“Kylo… why aren’t - don’t you… like… things?”  


“…you aren’t enjoying what we’re doing?”  


“Yes, but… there’s _more_ things we could do.”  


“Yes… but there’s no hurry, is there?”  


“ _No_.” No. “I just… would really rather like to try them.”  


Which was when Hux realised that - oh - maybe there was a reason Kylo was holding off.

And he’d been utterly blind to it.

“Kylo… do you… not like some things?”  


“No, it’s not that, I–”  


Hux thought back. All those times he’d pushed for kisses. All those overly-exaggerated dates. All the butterflies and nerves…

Kylo… was new to this, too.

Hux thought about it for a moment, wondering how to proceed. “Would… you maybe like to… talk about things we find appealing, while we do… simpler things?” he suggested. 

“…and… _how_ we’d do them?” Kylo countered.

Nothing could be hotter, Hux decided. “And then when we both know we want to do something, and that we _can_ do something… then later…”

“…we already know?”

Precisely. A battle-plan.

Hux grinned. “Right now, I want you to take me to bed and take every item of clothing off me. And then I want you to kiss me all over, while I tell you what I want to do with your lovely, fat cock.”

Kylo liked that, too.  

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the state of my writing atm, irl stuff.


End file.
